BY: COLIN EMERICH
June 13th, 2024
In light of running a 5k in honor of my late buddy Reese Hitchens and attending my former coach Keith Biddle’s funeral a few months ago, along with my late father’s birthday passing again. I have been constantly sorting through memories since then. Many with a team special to me. Reminded of past times shared. Of moments in time. More simply grief.
A DEAR FRIEND
In remembrance of a good friend, Reese Hitchens.
Though both involved in hockey and similar circles from a young age, I didn’t meet Reese until I switched schools and began at Skyline Middle School in the 7th grade. Moving from Bear to Pike Creek, I was in a new area. Playing for a new travel hockey team for the first time. In the midst of trying to adjust to the new way of life that I was going through, with my parents getting divorced. They were doing their best during the process but it was a really confusing and tough period of time for me. Learning to live apart from one of my parents at all times. After getting to know people for 3 years in my old school district and making friends, after living next to my best friend and other teammate Sebastian. Having to move and start at a new school in the halfway point of middle school wasn’t exactly ideal.
Going into Skyline, I was very quiet and unsure. Then Reese introduced himself. He was the first friend I made at my new school. We had similar sense of humors, the love of hockey in common, and we were in honor classes together. Looking back, it was kind of inevitable that we became friends. He brought a calming presence, light-hearted nature, and an ease to my school days amidst all the turmoil outside of it.
Reese was always the class clown, the heartbeat of a locker room, he was the kid growing up for me that could get me to laugh at any time. He was smart and kind and witty. I knew he was a person that tried not to take life too seriously. I was similar in nature, and I gravitated towards that with Reese, as did many others. Small in stature, he had a tenacity and heart that would have made you think he was a head taller out there on the ice. I admired that in him because growing up there was plenty of kids that didn’t have that passion, kids that had everything handed to them because of their size.
As Reese and I evolved into our high school years, we ended up going to the same high school at Delaware Military Academy. We shared the ice for the first time as freshman at DMA, and then multiple years in travel hockey following that. Our friendship expanded from the classroom to the rink. We had goofy inside jokes off the ice. On the ice, he encouraged me to be better, whether through one-on-one battles with him in practice or playfully betting me I couldn’t do certain things. There was always some friendly banter back and forth. I always enjoyed giving my best when going against him because I knew I would get his best. He’s part of the reason I grew into the player I was at the time. I am thankful Reese and I ended our youth hockey days playing together.
Throughout middle school and high school, Reese could connect with the smart kids, the popular ones, the athletes. He could find common ground with pretty much everyone. A social chameleon of sorts.
As life unfolds, space and time drives distance between friends. That regretfully happened for Reese and I. Different classes, friend groups, different places of living.
But he was still the type of person that would check in, and I did the same. Our last conversation December 15th, a little over a week before he passed, I saw a post of his on social media and reached out to him, told him I loved him and he said the same in return. He said he hoped all was well and to tell our buddy Sebastian “hi” for him. Until the end he was always a kind soul, wondering and checking on others. I had no idea that would be the last time I talked to him, that’s the weird thing about life; you never do.
At the time, I was going through a great deal of things myself, with losing my father, my loving Gram, and a sad heartbreak. I was in the midst of a period of self isolation: trying to focus within, lean on God and grow. But I felt like I was living in a nightmare, I spent a majority of my time alone because I felt alone, and I was dealing with a lot of deep grief, sadness and depression. Aspects I am still working through. All of it was quite frankly too much mentally for me to handle and grieve at once.
Which is why when Reese passed, I delivered the flowers from our team that we as his teammates all chipped in for and I was physically there for his funeral. But my world was already turned upside down. I don’t think it was remotely possibly for me to emotionally fully process Reese’s passing. The passing of my buddy Reese has been felt more and more with time. But I still now wish I checked in more on him. Wish I picked up the phone and called the people I care about more. That is one thing I have come to learn the most through it all. Those regrets or thoughts of care not acted on are ones that follow way me more than the ones that I did do and maybe didn’t go as planned.
I will forever remember Reese for the friend he was, the contagious energy he possessed, his natural athleticism, his humble nature, and the way he became a friend many years ago when I was going through a transition period of my life when I was lost, shy, trying to find my way in a new area, new situation. I’ll remember him being a friend when I truly needed one.
I’ll remember him not only as a dear friend, but a great teammate, and amazing person.
To a dear friend. Thank you for making my life better.
GOOD COACH, BETTER MAN
When I initially began writing this, it was inspired by my buddy Reese, reminiscing on moments with him and our team, and my thoughts on grief. To help you know him and to possibly help you in your own journey. But in the midst of writing, a coach that affected my life in a positive manner, unfortunately passed away. One of my hockey coaches from growing up, a coach from Reese and I’s team, father to our teammate Gavin, Coach Keith Biddle.
I only got coached by Coach Biddle for 2 years, but Coach Biddle was an extraordinary man. A former Army Ranger, he was tough. Strong-willed but equally as personable. He could also tell a story like very few can. Our team definitely asked questions to hear more of them. In the years spent together, with Coach Biddle coaching the defenseman and me being a forward, I talked life with him more than hockey. But those talks were more important to me than any talk focused around a game. Those are the type of coaches that still stick with me and make the impacts that last a lifetime.
Coach Biddle was one of those coaches. He was the type of coach you enjoyed going to the rink to see. The type of person that always had a smile on his face when you ran into each other or give you a playful bump. Coach Biddle supported my family in different ways for a stretch of years. As I played with his son Gavin for 2 years, and my sister played with his daughter Saige for many years. He supported me with advice. Supported my sister even more by taking her in with him and his family on long hockey road trips for hockey at different times. Supported my father by being a friend and someone he could talk hockey with for hours. Supported my mother by being there to help with Julia. Coach Biddle, Mrs. Biddle, and his whole family helped more than I can say.
I was only reassured of these characteristics at Coach Biddle’s funeral, as everyone who spoke touched on the same aspects of him that I came to know. Honorable, family oriented, strong, steady, wise. As so many people came to pay their respects. As the hockey community rallied around a man and family that deserve it.
Coach Biddle was a good man willing to help. A man that was always open to listen and always had a witty one liner in his back pocket. A man that as the cliche saying goes “would give you his shirt off his back”, but he genuinely would. A man that might not say much at times, but when he did you listened. He was a man I wish I could have had more time to spend around, to learn from, to ask questions, gather insight, and pick his brain.
I am blessed that Coach Biddle was a part of my story, my family’s story, and that I could be even a small part of his.
Prayers and deepest condolences to his whole family during this difficult time, and know that the hockey community and myself are always here to return the favor for you at any time in any way we can, just as Coach Biddle did for so many of us.
Rest in peace to two of God’s saints. As Psalm 116:15 says “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints.”
THE WAVES OF GRIEF
More and more I realize how grief changes the rest of this life. Growing up I didn’t have loss at all, I was pretty fortunate in that aspect. That being said, I never fully understood when people spoke of the feeling of loss. It wasn’t that I didn’t care or that I wasn’t empathetic, I surely was. As deep as I could be at the time at least. But having not experienced it myself, I didn’t feel it the same. The way you feel it in your bones when it is someone close to you. I didn’t comprehend the hole it leaves in your chest. The way life and the way you view life is changed. What truly matters comes to the forefront. It wasn’t until all the loss came personally as mentioned before. Until I lost my father, until I lost my dear Gram, a friend, a coach, family members, until one loss after another compiled, a complex cumulative grief that I came to experience. It was not until I felt all of that, that I came to understand how grief shapes life in a way nothing else can.
Loss shows you that you are nothing but a human living in a world that we aren’t meant to stay in forever. One day we will pass away and none of it will matter. Whether the events not invited too, the traffic on the way to work, the food order delivered wrong, the time the stranger didn’t hold the door or made a smart remark. None of the little intricacies and frustrating aspects of life will matter.
What will matter then? What will matter is that car ride where you sang at the top of your lungs with the people you love, that concert where you took in the sights surrounded by your best friends, that laugh you shared with the one that makes your heart skip a beat, that hug with your parent where it just feels like protection, that smile you get from your kid or a baby when you make a face or strange noise just to entertain them. What matters is how you lived, what matters is how you’re remembered by the ones that care about you.
This world. Where one day, pictures, videos, letters, voice memos, gifts, and memories become all we have connecting us to those people we loved. It is why I save all such things from others no matter what and will do so forever. Letters, gifts; someone took the time to think of you in such a meaningful way. Pictures; memories of special moments in time that can take you back to what you saw, what you heard, how you felt.
Makes you rethink. To take a moment for that picture even when it feels like a chore, to record that video even when your battery is low, to write that letter even if you are scared the feelings won’t be reciprocated, to buy that gift even if you don’t expect one back, because it’s how you’ll live on, it’s from your heart and your soul. A love and care, a genuine nature, a kindness that cannot be taken away if given truly.
But more importantly than any one of those, and the hardest one to live out. Make the most of the present moment. To make each memory tucked away for you and those others that much better. So, one day they can remember the way you made them feel, the laughter that echoed, the kindness you shared, or your genuine curiosity, love, and care for their life that you had.
It’s sad to think you may never see or talk to someone again who you considered to be one of the most important people in your life, possibly even the most important person. It’s one of the concepts of life that I will never fully understand. How they are here one day, gone the next. How you’re supposed to go on in life like nothing has changed. When everything has changed without them. I’m sure many of you can relate in one way or another.
It is extremely difficult but to keep from drowning in despair, we must try to keep perspective and understand our lowest moments are used to make us stronger and wiser, as in scripture James 1:12 says “Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love Him.”
Life is fragile. You don’t know the last time you’ll see a family member, a friend, a coach, a coworker, or a special someone you deeply care about. Time is such an eerie thing. A moment feels like a second and next thing you know your years down the line. I have seen that time and time again first hand these last 2 years. Don’t get me wrong it is extremely hard to be in the moment all the time and even I struggle with it on the daily. Though hard to be present at times, the older and more mature I become, I do value the time I get ever so much more. Every dinner with my family, every game shared with my friends, every interaction with a kind stranger, every “see you when I see you” to a loved one. It hits me differently since I have experienced grief, and since I’ve grown closer to God. I don’t know how to explain it, it is just the feeling that you will never get enough time with the people you love.
Death is inescapable, but what they will have left of us is the love we gave and the faith we held. The amount of love you left engrained in the people still here. The faith you held and spread to others for our Lord and Savior to meet them again one day. That is all.
In simple form, the souls you touched.
Ultimately, grief is not one size fits all. One of my favorite quotes, below, that has stuck with me explains it perfectly.
Grief makes clear who and what matters most. And it’s not the material things or the title. It’s the laughs, the intimate moments, the heartwarming actions, the relationships. How the impact we make on others is way deeper than we ever stop to think about.
Reese and Coach Biddle made those imprints, they left that positive impact.
Grief shows you the world in a different light, it is our responsibility to use that light to live better, to try harder, to love deeper.
A TEAM; FULL CIRCLE
Ultimately, that brings us to the hockey team that brought Reese, Coach Biddle, myself, and many of my close buddies together. The 2016 Delaware Ducks.
A group of guys and a collection of moments that grief has shown clearly matter.
Both Then & Now.
April 15th, 2016
After a great regular season, we headed to the national tournament for 18 & under with high expectations. A majority of the same group returned from the team that had lost a couple years before in the championship at 16 & under. This time felt a little different, it was the last ride before everyone went their separate ways. College, juniors, work around the corner and even with reunions it’s never quite the same. A lot more urgency.
We started the tournament off with 2 wins that weren’t really close. We then played another 2-0 team in our final preliminary game, with both advancing regardless of outcome. At least that’s what we thought.
15+ penalties and a couple ejections from the other team halfway through the game changed that. The rink was swarmed with other teams wanting to watch the mayhem. The ref at one point telling me “What do you want me to do about it?” when asked about their recklessness. Never a reassuring answer coming from the only guy on the ice that can do something. Shortly after, the game was stopped with us up 5-0 by tournament officials for safety reasons and a police escort out of the rink followed. The forced forfeit by the tournament, led to us advancing and the other squad getting booted from Nationals.
Advancing into quarterfinals we had a lot of confidence. Facing the Howard Huskies, we went up a couple goals early. Then late in the first period, our leading scorer at the time, Sebastian Thomas took 2 tough hits back-to-back, and when we got back to the bench, he knew his collarbone was broken. An enormous blow for the team, but even tougher for me. My linemate, my best friend since I was about 9 years old out for the rest of the season. Going to different schools, we knew it was likely our last real meaningful hockey playing together going into the tournament. We were playing some of our best hockey together and just like that it was gone. Adversity for the whole team, but also a rallying point for all of us to win it for him.
With that in mind, we finished the quarterfinal game with a 5-1 win. Followed that up with a pretty easy 4-1 win over the Maine Moose. Leading to the championship game against the New England Edge, and our toughest task. Despite the shots being 50-29 in our favor. it was a low scoring and close game throughout. New England went up 1-0, Jimmy Schickling tied it for us in the first to make it 1-1. A missed penalty shot, a post for us, and chances both ways followed. But it stayed 1-1 and went to overtime. The first overtime was nerve wracking but nothing came of it. We went into the second overtime still feeling it was ours. We hit a post really early on and personally I thought that was our chance and the next was going to be them hitting the back of our net. But a little over 2 minutes into the second overtime Jeremy DeWit cranked a slap shot off the cross bar and straight down into the net for the overtime and national championship win! Our special group had ended our youth careers with a W.
May 5th, 2024
Fast forward 8 years later, teammate Tyler Swift comes up with the idea of putting a team together for a tournament in honor of our teammate, Reese Hitchens, passing. Tyler and I started reaching out to guys, we all brainstormed design and team names, Schickling helped us get the jerseys. Deciding on jerseys with Reese’s initials (RH) on the front, and all of us wearing Reese’s number 24 and Hitchens on our backs. The name we came up for the team being Hitchens’ House since the tournament was played at our former home rink.
Guys really got behind the idea. We had 10 returners from that 18U team that won, 4 more players from the 16U team that went to the championship, and then 1 more being Reese’s defensive partner from when they were young kids. Other former teammates that came or got jerseys themselves to support.
A short time before the tournament though, we tragically lost the assistant coach of our championship winning team, Coach Biddle. In his honor, the Shambo family got stickers created for us to all wear on our helmets with his initials, and some to give to his family.
15 guys coming back together 8 years later for a teammate and a coach, with some guys not having seen each other in that span, and others not having touched the ice let alone played hockey in years.
On May 3rd, Reese’s birthday we started the tournament. With many of the parents excited to see all of us together again, we had quite a few in attendance. The first game was not an ideal one, losing 11-4. But thankfully both the Hitchens’ and Biddle’s were able to be there for the first game. We got some of the rust off and had a good night together after like Reese and Coach Biddle would have wanted.
We returned bright and early at 9 AM on Saturday for Game 2 and kind of blew the game losing 9-8 in a back-and-forth style of game. But got a pleasant surprise from Coach Biddle’s son Gavin, which was a bright spot for all. With tents set up outside, as it got into the afternoon, we had so many of the parents show up and bring food and desserts and drinks, with the Hitchens’ family kindly leading the charge with catering and cupcakes made in a big R for Reese. The next couple hours were spent altogether, parents and kids, reminiscing on the fun memories had, catching up on the current, and obviously exchanging endless jokes like any locker room ever.
This led us right up to our third game later that night following our 10-hour break. Another fast paced up-and down game against some of my former college teammates, we played much better than the other games and the rust was about off, but we sadly still took the loss 7-4.
But we were able to give the Hitchens family the jersey we had gotten for them, with all of our signatures on the back after the game. An emotional moment for many of us, that was much bigger than any game.
Our record though stood 0-3 after the round robin. The exact opposite of our round robin record at Nationals 8 years earlier.
While the event itself and getting everyone together in honor of our teammate and coach was meaningful enough, I do feel that a majority of us felt we couldn’t come together in their honor then not win a single game. Luckily all 4 teams made the semis, so we still had a chance.
Saturday night we had almost everyone come out for a night all together in Newark, then all of us were hosted so kindly by the Swift family. With some being up until 3 or 4 in the morning, the 8 am start time Sunday morning came fast for us. We got to the rink in the morning, hoping to get that win for Reese and Coach Biddle.
Quite frankly for a majority of the game, it didn’t look great. We were down 4-3 with 2 minutes left. But similar goal scorers to the finals 8 years earlier stepped up in the semifinals this time around. Schickling scored first to tie it with a minute and 30 seconds left, and then DeWit scored less than 30 seconds later to put us up for good and the win we wanted. We were on to the championship.
The championship was a little after noon, a quick turnaround, but we had played better with each game. Still, we didn’t really know what to expect going into the finals since we had lost 11-4 the first time around. But before the game, Mr. Shambo came into our locker room and said something that stuck with all of us.
“This will be the only time that you will ever play for the name on the back of your jersey”.
With the name Hitchens on all of our backs and Coach Biddle’s initials (KB) on the back of our helmets. We took the ice and went up 1-0 which was quickly erased to tie it at 1. We then scored the next 3 and it really began to look like we could actually win. But in a blink, it was 4-4. Tie game. We went up 5-4 only to be tied again late 5-5. Just like the old days, our goalie Wayne made some huge saves to keep us in it down the stretch.
Therefore, just like 8 years earlier, we required an extra period. The world works in mysterious ways, and it proved so again in overtime. Sebastian Thomas, the same guy who had his season ended in that tournament our last youth season, the same guy we rallied around to win for 8 years earlier, walked in 10 seconds into overtime to score and this time winning it for Reese and Coach Biddle.
Full Circle.
I can’t help but believe that Reese and Coach Biddle were watching from Heaven and providing us with some puck luck, that’s the only way I can explain the feeling out there at times.
At the end of the day it was just meant to be an exciting tournament, a reason to get everyone together for a meaningful reason. But taking the picture below with my buddies and the Hitchens family after the game is a core memory that will always stick with me. The same way taking the picture with Coach Biddle and Reese all those years ago is one that still sticks with me today.
ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER
I am honored to be a part of the hockey community, a community that is tight-knit and with so many people that are genuine and come together for each other in times of need.
Reese, Coach Biddle, Coach Swift, my fellow teammates, and I will always be linked from our amazing run resulting in a national championship. We will be linked again for a win in a fun tournament in honor of our hockey family.
But the hockey community and life as a whole both go so much deeper than the wins and losses, the trophies. It’s the relationships and memories that last even after our time here is done.
Grief is the reminder that part of them will always remain with us, within.
The knowledge of that, that they will always be with us, helps on the days where it feels like all is lost.
To all those grieving someone close, even years, decades later. No matter what type of grief. You know as I do that it will never go away, but you should not want it to. As that’s the love we hold within for them.
Keep pushing, keep living how they would wish for you to, and know you’re not alone. Not only are you surrounded by many people who are experiencing similar emotions and pain, but God is only a prayer away.
Lean on loved ones for support, and rely on God, as Philippians 4:13 says “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me”.
Every day you wake up and put your best foot forward, your loved one is proud of you, and looking down with a smile.
Remember those you have lost exactly how they were, how they lived, how they loved.
I will remember Reese and Coach Biddle, their special characteristics, and cherish our moments shared forever.
Love Like Reese. Love Like Coach Biddle.
Rest in Peace
Reese Hitchens: May 3, 1998 – December 26, 2022
Keith Biddle: December 18, 1963 – March 12, 2024
The Eternal Pursuit of Wisdom 
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